Thursday, 29 January 2015


Been hearing the press about this movie and I pretty much had no idea what it's supposed to be about. Of course the source material is some obscure (probably no longer in print) series of novels by a British novelist that came out in the late 70s, which was why it's not immediately recognisable to most people. Also first movie I paid to watch this year.

Well okay, I mostly wanted to watch Paul Bettany as his thug manservant, Jock (Strapp, even though the last name was omitted in the credits) who somehow manages to to get laid at every chance he gets. Jeeves, he is not. (Also, can't imagine Stephen Fry as Jeeves doing the things Jock does). The dude is the voice of Jarvis in the Iron Man movies and now, practically the Marvel movie universe. Can't help but think he's channelling his inner Jason Statham? He gets my MVP award for this movie, he was the funniest thing going. Not even Johnny Depp or Jeff Goldblum (who's probably in it 10 minutes, tops). 
  • Enjoyed the voiceover explaining the backstories of the characters, but that's just me.
  • Mortdecai himself is a pain in the backside. Thank goodness for Jock. 
  • Jock's sexcapades are freaking hilarious: from the farmer's daughter to joining the mile high club with a new mum. Even the boss also selamba :P
  • Mortdecai, at Jock in LA: "PUT IT AWAY, MAN!"
  • Nothing against Depp and Paltrow's English accents for this movie, though I suppose for her, being married to an Englishman once upon a time has to help :P
  • Mortdecai's got a point: what's with that Russian henchman's obsession with balls? 
  • What's "open your balls"? Should I look it up on Urban Dictionary? 
  • Have to give the makeup people props for not covering up Olivia Munn's freckles that first close up on her. 
Like the similarly panned Lone Ranger movie, I thought this was a fun little romp. You can safely ignore the people on IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes and go watch Mortdecai as I don't think it's for American audiences. I don't know if they're gonna make more movies since it erm, flopped in America, so I'm not holding my breath for any sequels. NOT A FAMILY MOVIE.